For such a time as this

When a book launch becomes a calling

Last Tuesday, I was on the subway doing my usual morning commute to the office. Cell reception isn’t great most of the time, which leaves me with a few rare moments in my day when I’m fully disconnected from the outside world. During a quick burst of access to 5G when the subway doors opened somewhere between the Financial District and my stop at Chelsea, I heard the news of the Supreme Court’s decision in the case of Chiles v Salazar.

While I had been steeling myself for the expected decision since last fall, it still didn’t prepare me for the rush of emotions reading the 8-1 majority and realizing how bad it really was. I quickly drafted my initial thoughts and posted them, and was distracted throughout the rest of the workday, reading news stories and seeing how LGBTQ+ orgs, activists, and survivors were responding.

By the time I got home from the office in the afternoon, I found myself preparing to do an interview with ABC News’ Linsey Davis.

And from there, admittedly, the rest of the week is a little bit of a blur.

I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating: I didn’t think my conversion therapy story would be the first book I’d publish. I had other ideas for what I wanted to write. My memoir-writing teacher always said that whatever comes out on the page is the story you need to write. And every time I’d stare at the blank Google Doc, the stories I’d end up filling it with were always about my experiences wrestling with my faith and sexuality.

So, I followed that intuition over the last four years, and every step of the way has seemed to confirm I was heading in the right direction. I would have never dreamed I’d be bringing a book into the world at the same time the conversation about conversion therapy would be back in the news headlines. But that affirms to me what I often hear in recovery meetings: “God doing for me what I could have never done for myself.”

On Wednesday, I stood with community activists, organizers, and other conversion therapy survivors at the historic Stonewall National Monument and shared my story. We were there to express our anger and outrage about the Supreme Court decision and to raise our voice for the LGBTQ+ young people in Colorado and in other places who are now in danger of being subjected to these awful practices.

I wrote an op-ed for Religion News Service, did an interview with Sojourners, and appeared on a few other podcasts. (And remember, I’m still working my normal 9-5 job throughout all of this!) I went on a few hours of sleep, a lot of iced coffee, and thanked God for my sobriety and my meds every day.

On Friday, I got the news that one of my favorite local bookstores, Books Are Magic, already had my book on their shelves, so I had to go see it for myself. And I have to tell you it was absolutely surreal to see my book on a shelf in a bookstore, especially with everything that had gone on last week.

I wrote Conversion Therapy Dropout because I wanted to share my story and hope that it could help people understand what conversion therapy is like, see inside the megachurch industrial complex that fuels and funds it, and silences people like me.

And ultimately, I wanted to offer hope to anyone who has ever felt like they had to choose between their faith and sexuality to know that they can be exactly who God created them to be and are loved just as they are.

So, to be able to stand at a bookstore and see the fruits of four years’ worth of labor, not to mention the years of healing it took for me to be able to write it in the first place, and just days after the Supreme Court decision, I couldn’t help but marvel at the timing of it all.

As one of my friends joked, it’s very much my “for such a time as this moment.”

I tried to rest as much as I could on Saturday, and on Easter Sunday, I found myself at my church, Good Shepherd.

Something about sharing space with other LGBTQ+ believers in church felt just a little bit more sacred this year. I never would have dreamed when I entered into conversion therapy when I was 19 that one day I’d be surrounded by community and be loved and accepted in a church as an openly gay man. I am so grateful I made it. And I want to do all I can to make sure other LGBTQ+ people can experience the same.

It’s been an emotional week. I’ve been angry. I’ve been frustrated. I’ve been exhausted. But more than anything, I’ve felt a stronger resolve to be bolder, share my story louder, and do whatever I can to help others.

And given the events that have happened, know that the release of Conversion Therapy Dropout feels more like a mandate or a calling than a book launch. My story didn’t end when I left conversion therapy, and I’m going to spend this summer making sure others know theirs doesn’t have to, either.

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Some housekeeping

Because of the urgency of the SCOTUS news, a few of the interviews meant to go live around my launch week have been moved up. So, be on the lookout for my conversation with Jonathan Van Ness on Getting Better this week, along with my episode of the Culture Study, and the Love, Take Two podcast. I loved all of these conversations and can’t wait for you to hear them.

NYC release event

Yesterday I announced my NYC release event on May 5. I’ll be joined by my dear friend Shauna Niequist, NYT bestselling author and writer of my book’s foreword. And I’ll also be joined in conversation (and maybe some special music!) by Emmy-winning artist and activist MORGXN.

The evening will feature a short reading from the book, a conversation with MORGXN, audience Q&A, a book signing, and some fun surprises.

Hosting this at Stonewall, the birthplace of the queer liberation movement, means the world to me.

My friends from McNally Jackson will be on-site selling copies of the book.

Admission is FREE, but you can pre-pay $25 to reserve your copy for the signing. Space is limited, so grab your tickets today! 🎟️

Book tour dates

I also have the full lineup for the Conversion Therapy Dropout book tour, kicking off release week and extending through the summer. I’ll be joined in conversation with special guests in every city, and I’m excited to connect with you. All information, including RSVP details, can be found here. This is a self-funded tour, and I’m grateful to every bookstore, church, and organization that is welcoming me in and creating space for these conversations.

Thank you again to everyone who has pre-ordered, shared my posts, or sent words of support and encouragement. Reading early reviews like this one reminds me why I’m doing this and why the world needs to hear survivor stories now, more than ever.

28 days to go!

P.S. - For even more frequent updates, don’t forget to follow me on Instagram, Threads, and TikTok.